My Electric Grandma
When my Gran died a few months ago, I predicted that she would become even more powerful in death (like Obi-Wan). How right I was…
My Dreams Lately. WTF?
Is the moon doing something funny? There has been a definite influx of strange dreams lately and more dreams in general. For example: Asking Brian May if I could touch his hair as he moved through a concert crowd doing a guitar solo. He said no. Riding down the highway at night on a frictionless cushion with a torch and […]
Vertically Challenged
Hey loud short people at concerts: Shut up. We don’t need to hear about your deficiencies. I am aware I have a genetic advantage in this situation and I intend on exploiting it to it’s fullest. You are invalid.
With Dreams Like This, Who Needs Sleep?
News story begins: A man loads a casket containing the remains of a murdered police officer into a hearse. The media coverage of this murder and subsequent case ensures that the hearse is heavily surrounded by reporters and grievers roadside. The solemn event is interrupted by a middle-aged, grey bearded, gun toting biker in typical biker club uniform. Drunken obscenities […]
Small Talk
Some people are great at small talk and really personable. This is not me. It’s partly genetics and partly because of events like tonight that have programmed me to shut my mouth. I mentioned that I was a bit tired in my pre-donation interview at the blood bank and I was turned away for donation. Had I been my normal […]
The Science of Valentines Day
Valentines Day: clever marketing strategy for stores to get rid of their shitty DVDs that no one would ordinarily buy. Do everyone a favour and avoid the Hugh Grant DVDs. Have a think and then DO something fantastic. …and by that I don’t mean send an e-card. You send an e-card and some other prick will have a $150 box […]
How about those bad drivers, ey?
Driving home from the blood bank tonight, I encountered numerous bad drivers. One silver car slowed down to 6km/h to go around a corner and could not, for the life of them, keep in their own lane. Then the car approached the highway via a slip lane. Whilst looking down the infinitely barren highway, it still seemed somewhat necessary for the driver […]
Temporary Spider of the Dandy Jackson
Today marks the 5th Anniversary of the release of “Temporary Spider of the Dandy Jackson” (April 2006)…