How Glenn Came To Be In My Band

Glenn’s origin is unknown. Rumour has it that Glenn was paw raised by a pack of Siberian bears after his family deserted him after a family picnic. Many years later, after having become one with the sleuth, Glenn started feeling a void in his soul. It wasn’t the tuna he ate earlier that day. It wasn’t the missing love of his family. It was the feeling of an unfulfilled destiny. One night he was awoken by the sounds of Toto echoing through the trees of the forest and in that moment he knew that there was much more the wider world had to offer. He journeyed across the land searching for something. What exactly, he did not know.

Then, on a dark August night, he was offered a piece of enchanted French toast by a mysterious shaman. Upon eating it, a ringing of an unknown onomatopoeia vibrated his spirit and an apparition of magical curves and smoke danced in his mind. The purple haze cleared to reveal the late Jimi Hendrix holding a celestially enchanting guitar. He didn’t give the guitar to Glenn but instead did offer some words of encouragement in fulfilling his destiny. Jimi also informed him that if he was to succeed in his quest that he would need a guitar to do it.

Glenn got his first guitar two years later at the age of 14. He had worked many shifts at Woolworths and managed to save enough money to buy a cheap Silvertone guitar. Tapping into the primal instincts instilled in him during early life, Glenn set to master the guitar and hunt down its essence with no remorse. Days and nights became one long continuous blur as he practiced and refined his skills. The guitar was rubbish, but Glenn’s talent was obvious to passers by as he played on the street. One of those passers by happened to be another “Glenn”. Mr. Glenn Wheatley. Instantly recognising Glenn’s talent, he made him a session and tour guitarist for John Farnham. Glenn’s golden years ensued. Tour life was void of responsibility and he was living the dream – fulfilling his destiny. But, like many great guitarists, cocaine addiction sent him into a downward spiral. He was fired from John Farnham’s band due to his drug abuse problems and poor punctuality.

Many years later, after getting clean, he joined a band called “OSCAR”. To this day he plays with “OSCAR” and uses the payments to subsidise his horrendous cocaine debt.