A Series of Unfortunate Events
A simple mission. Get to Opening Night Movie for the French Film Festival at The Como Centre, South Yarra – 6:45pm for 7:00pm start
Sarah had driven to work that day and was already up in Melbourne. I would take the train to the city and later come back home with her in her car. Good idea right? Saves a car from doing a 2 hour round trip into the city.
Mission start.
4:55 PM: Leave work and drive straight to Lara Station
5:13 PM: Train departs Lara station, on time (Train: $6.50)
6:00 PM: Train stopped – 10 minute delay outside North Melbourne
6:16 PM: Arrive at Southern Cross station
6:18 PM: Discover all train services through South Yarra are suspended due to “Police Operation”. Platform 12 is blacked out – no services running.
6:19 PM: Walk up and across to a Flinders Street train with the intention of catching a tram from Flinders Street. This train is also delayed due to ‘“congestion”.
6:20 PM: Call Sarah and decide a taxi is the only way I might make it on time. Bail and walk up to the platform end.
6:24 PM: Phone dies of flat battery
6:26 PM: Spot a train back on Platform 12. There is a service through South Yarra leaving NOW. Quickly jump on the train. Wait a bit. Announcement confirms that although there is a train here the services are still delayed. Minimum of 20 mins. Bail again.
6:33 PM: Exit the station and spot a taxi
6:34 PM: Leave in taxi, only to get stuck in peak traffic in the city centre
7:00 PM: Grow weary of the Indian music and smells inhabiting the cab. He was nice enough and knew where he was going though.
7:12 PM: Via Punt Rd, arrive at Como Centre in South Yarra. (Taxi: $28.70)
7:15 PM: Meet and Talk with Sarah and she looks at the time. Too late. I say “We should at least go in for a look – see if it’s started?”. She says “No point.”
7:20 PM: Walk a couple hundred metres down Chapel St to go back to Sarah’s car. A text comes in from Simon who’s in the cinema saying “…the movie hasn’t even started yet and they’re still doing ads and speeches”
7:21 PM: Regardless, the dream is all but dead to Sarah. Even if we were to go back, we’d be rushed, ostracised and constricted to shitty seats right up the front of the cinema.
7:31 PM: Get back to the car and drive out of the car park
7:42 PM: Park the car off Chapel Street after doing a block and finding no parks. On the second blocky, luckily someone pulled out.
7:47 PM: Order has been placed at Grill’d. Table Number 12. (Yums: $38.00)
Mission end.
Post Analysis:
– Total cost for the night ($73.20) would have bought you 14.64 Stunner Meals from Hungry Jacks. (Joke property of Jonathan Schuster)
– Later discovered (unconfirmed) that the “Police Operation” was scraping a hobo off the train tracks
– From this one hobo’s actions, felt the night was a beautiful example of the butterfly effect in a more condensed time frame
– The number 12 has always been surrounded with good luck and good fortune in my family. To get number 12 for our table number was a cosmic slap to the face – at which point I could only laugh, also remembering the saga on Platform 12 earlier.
– Talking to Sarah and eating burgers made me feel better. I noticed Sarah’s cute squinty eyes as she laughed at something I said. That very moment made the proceeding shit storm of events completely worthwhile.